Also… Britain needs this. http://www.robinhood.org/homeresponds.aspx

Little John’s coming round tonight: yes!

- Unable to stop smiling, Robin Hood

My telephone number
The definition of the word ‘legal’
Whether or not I should still have Little John’s underwear in my drawer
Arguments: yes, arguments over arguments
“Get your hands off me – you’re freezing.”
The colour of the little thing that cleans your toilet water
British English and American English
Miracle cures for the common cold
Sugar or milk going in your tea first
What Twitter is for
My feelings for other people
The question that has the answer “forty two”
The plural of ‘moose’
If that green mercedes had enough fuel to get to Denmark
The birds and the bees
Whose minion Little John’s cat was when we were kids
Which icecream van

Need I go on? I’d start sounding like Mil Milligan if I did – great author, look him up! Now, Robin Hood: I’m hoping to get some charity work in tomorrow, or Monday. A friend of mine goes to a lot of poverty-stricken places and helps with projects to raise money, like bear making, and bag making. I’ll be dropping in as myself to help her out a lot more than usual not that my work period is done for quite some time. Exams are over, y’see.

- Robin Hood, sleepless-ly

- Robin

So what’ve I been up to in this time? Like I said, lying low. In all honesty? …Very little. A nip here, a tuck there, actually managed to patch up one or two things with Little John. Even spent some time over at his place – which, at one point, earned me a ride in the huge washing machine, thank you very much Thom Wolfe (not) – and stayed a little longer and no, don’t expect me to go into any more details here, no way, NOT gonna happen. You want smut or whatever you want to call what may or may not have happened, you go somewhere else. Long story short, you might be seeing some collaborations coming along soon, which means the police will have their hands full so I hope the boys in blue are up for a challenge. Sorry guys, but the fact is we’ve got a lot of catching up to do in our final goal.

Oh, and we’ve even had some interest in that big project I mentioned a few blogs back, this one: http://thenottinghamconspiracy.wordpress.com/2009/04/17/promises-promises/, about the mass dressing-up-as-Robin-Hood-for-Make-Poverty-History. And when I say Robin Hood, I mean the real guy, who I’m damn sure existed, not me. I have three, four people geared up? Which is more than I was expecting, I have to say, so I’d love it if more people jumped in. I even made a handy Facebook Event so you can join and invite people, the link to which is on the sidebar. I’ve gone on and on about the poverty in the UK (and hey, even the world) so many times and maybe you don’t want to hear it again but maybe I’m still going to say it. With the right effort, we could eradicate poverty by 2015. Who’s with me? The money we need pays for either another Euro Disney, or millions of improved lives… I know which I’d choose any day, sorry Disney.

Keep reading folks. Special word out to Joey and Mr. Red, the last two to comment, thanks for the support.
- Modern Robin Hood x

Sorry guys, “we both know [I] can escape the police even in this sorry state”, to quote a friend of mine. Oh yeah, and I know it’s a bad scan but that was never my strong point, technology. I can work an ipod, this laptop functions, and I can turn on the microwave and that’s the long and short of it. The “fraud” mentioned which doesn’t quite do things justice might I add isn’t my handiwork, so credit where credit’s due. I’m not so proud as you might think. Or maybe it’s just being sick making me so Samaritan – you’ll never know, haha. I’m certainly more willing to snuggle up under a large duvet with friends when I’m like this than I would be on any other day of the year, as some friends have learnt the hard way when they’ve tried to before.

Alright then, what else is there to say. Well, Manchester University might have a student union of sorts who are interested in the project I mentioned a few posts back, so if I can rustle up any more press I’ll let you all know. All the plans are, effectively, finalised, and I’m going ahead with it my end of Nottingham come rain or shine. I might be in Scotland around that time too, summertime that is. Please post your interest/questions here – you don’t need to be a member of WordPress to post, and I’d love to hear from people about anything. Flame or fame, whatever’s your game. And that’s enough with the Doctor Seuss rhyming although I have to say since my childhood that guy was a pure genius. Might have inspired me if I hadn’t had bigger plans. -cough- You didn’t hear that. But hey, we’re all entitled to a little grandiose plan or two! Speaking of which, we’ve got a new look, made by yours truly. I especially like the Robin wearing my hat, looks pretty god huh? Kills time when I can’t get out of the house.

That’s about all I have to say. More tomorrow, I guess.

- Robin Hood, starting to feel better.

Anyway the long and short of this ramble is that I might be MIA in both Robin Hood and my other life for some time, so there won’t be an update per se today. Not feeling up to it – although my mood was vastly improved by the Indiana Jones hat a friend brought me back from thier holiday. That’s totally coming with the historian to work when I feel better. Hopefully Monday, like I’ve said before I have a serious tip on the diamond. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going for more hot liquids and to watch Raiders of the Lost Ark, see if it cheers me up a bit.

- Robin Hood x

There’s this film out now with Zac Efron (who, ussually, I would precede with the words ‘Oh God why’) and Matthew Perry (whose name I add ‘yummy’ to, even if I am a woman in my twenties or maybe in spite of…) called 17 Again. It’s sort of a one-way Freaky Friday, but that it’s a guy who falls over a bridge – bear with me on this – into a whirpool and gets home to find he’s reverted to his seventeen year old self, the point in his life where he felt he frankly screwed everything up. You know, dropping the chance of a basketball scholarship ’cause he got his girlfriend pregnant – well, seventeen years on he wished he hadn’t, and it actually turned out to be better than it sounded! Piqueing my interest, of course, when his best friend, thinking the kid is an intruder, attacks him with an orc’s ax, a sword, and then a red light saber. Topped up with two cups of coffee I was killing myself laughing by the end of the film, which I just got back from. My rating – 89%. Would’ve been in the 90s% range if there’d been more geeky stuff. Those parts reminded me of my own past, eh Little John? Light saber fights sound familiar? And it also reminded me of a part of turning seventeen I would want to relive. Unfortunately there is a man out there who I know knows he can steal my heart and break it into a hundred pieces, even my rock of a heart. Of course, my prom date blackmailed me into said prom and sweet-talked me into a dress (which I wore jeans and Doc Martin’s underneath, granted) but what we had back then, well, part of me wouldn’t mind it back, but Robin Hood…. maybe gets in the way. The Merry Men for one wouldn’t be chuffed.

Now, before we get onto the seriousness, you might have noticed that I had two very large cups of coffee, which I gave up for Lent and ever since have been drinking in the daily bucketloads, often in absence of food. One cup, caramel thing with extra caffeine, came from The Coffee Bean, and the White Chocolate Mocha I’m finishing off now came from Starbucks. I’m no coffee, conneiseur, so I’d love to hear what you think was best, hence the following poll. Plus… I’d love some more comments. ^^; Shameless plug much?
View This Poll

Now…. Robin Hood again, eh? I had a proposition I wanted to put to the world, which is mostly why I want comments today. Actually, it’s maybe good that I didn’t post it yesterday, ’cause I didn’t have it finalised until… ooh, five minutes ago. I have sort of got exams in May, but after that I’m a Freebird – please, no Lynard Skynard people, it’s already going ’round my head. What I’m going to do my best to organise here is a world-collaboration for making poverty history. It’s something I’m going to do regardless of whether it sparks interest on this blog, but if I get enough interest here I’ll post up details and a date and see how much we can raise. The idea is you dress up as Robin Hood, and don’t steal, but go out like that, with a collecting bucket, rustle up as much small change as you can – maybe do a small show in your local park, or if you’re in school, get your class to perform in the yard after class or something. Even if it’s just a matter of walking through the streets loudly talking “like ye merry men of olde in ye merry forest of Sherwood”. That’s what I’m rustling people up for. Bit of Men in Tights-ing. And there’s a handy way that you can send all of this to Make Poverty History, and they have lots of resources you can use to advertise too. So… Post if you’re interested, eh heh. Wow, me, shy? Shock!

- from Robin Hood with crossed fingers and an over-active imagination x

Thom Wolfe: Oh…er… hello?

R: Time to get this show on the road. Thanks for being here today.

T: You told me you were dying. And needed to be saved.

R: Dying to see you.

T: Tricking me is not the way to re-establish a relationship.

R: You came. Didn’t think you would have come otherwise. What can I say? I’m Robin Hood.

T: And I am apparently Thom Wolfe. Inappropriate educator extraordinaire.

R: I thought it was pretty good, my furry little friend.

T: You would. You thought a ghost was going to eat you on Morecambe pier

R: Swiftly changing the subject! Now, I’m sure we’re all wondering… Why did you teach Maid Marion (Little John’s sister) to pick locks at such a young age anyway?

T: Well, I learnt it from a guy in the army and I couldn’t think of another way to keep her from trying to run outside in the rain.

R: Interesting. And it worked, I assume? Or at least, she managed to break into my locker. Which of course wasn’t booby-trapped.

T: With strict instructions that she was never to tell her mother where she learnt it and yet more instructions to bother you with it.

R: There you have it ladies and gentlemen, the start of a wonderful relationship! Or rather part two there of since I met him when I was small…Er.

T: You replaced my toothpaste with shaving cream and burnt a hole in my favourite jumper. Although as I’m a mature adult, I have to say that revenge is wrong. And I don’t even want to know how you got the hole in the jumper.

R: Now the jumper was an accident, I apologise for that. Little John gave me a lighter.

T: Good god, where did he get that? You couldn’t have been older than seven.

R: This is the point where I raise my eyebrow, remind you who you’re talking to, and carry on with the interview. Having taught Marion to pick locks, did you have any idea she would one day use it to help kick start the modern equivalent to Robin Hood?

T: Of course not. I’m not a psychic. It’s a good skill for any young lady to have.

R: Especially one working with noble kleptomaniacs.

T: At the time, you and F- Little John were just creepy kids.

R: And when you first saw us on the news, did you have any idea who we were?

T: I had my suspicions.

R: Which were? So that we know what not to do.

T: Honestly? It was a hunch.

R: Fair enough. What did you think when you had your ‘hunch’?

T: Well…that you kids were in way over your heads and you were going to get caught. Frankly, I’m surprised you haven’t been.

R: Justice is not dead. Luckily neither are we.

T: Justice isn’t dead, but the policing of vigilantism has become greater.

R: Good point.

T: I thought so.

R: And what do you think of our plan? Or, at least my plan. Can’t vouch for The Merry Men so much. And do you give to charity at all?

T: No, but I work for Amnesty international. Your plan is flimsy at best, downright dangerous at worst, but I commend you for attempting what most people just ignore.

R: I shall take that as a compliment. And really, I didn’t know that? … And by flimsy did you know we’ve managed to donate nearly one thousand pounds worth of change to the homeless?

T: Yes and no, I didn’t. But you must admit, your plan has flaws.

R: All good plans have flaws.

T: How long do you expect to save these people before somebody decides that you don’t have the right to anymore? It happened to the real Robin Hood and it may well happen to you.

R: Hmm. Well, when we’re not wanted I guess I’ll hand myself in. Can’t say the same for the others but Robin Hood, if I remember correctly, bit off more than he could chew.

T: Says the woman who intends to go after the diamond?

R: Now, that started off as personal! Long before I started wearing tights on the streets at night. And the plan was to donate it to the University Museum. Very Indiana Jones, granted, but I’ve got my research. I have a friend working in the history department of the university, on the diamond.

T: And what is to stop the real owner from claiming it as their own?

R: Difficult. Robin hid it in Sherwood Forest hundreds of years ago, no one’s found it yet or even proved it exists, per se. The only person who can claim it by this point is Queen and country.

T: Forgive me for being the sceptic, but might the lack of proof on its existence be the boon in your otherwise noble plan?

R: I guess you could say that, yes. But I may or may not have access to a map to the diamond. Aaaaaand that’s all we have time for, folks. Thom, anything you’d like to say before we round this up?

T: As I apparently can’t talk you out of this venture, no.

R: You’ve known me since I was 4, I’m stubborn. But you’re welcome to try your luck on Little John, if you’re really determined.

T: He’s worse than you. Good bye, Robin.

R: Till two weeks Sunday, Wolfe. And burn that newspaper clipping while you’re at it.

This officially made my morning; a friend of mine who lives in London took one look at this and thought of me. Not that she knows what I do, but she does know I have a certain thing for Robin Hood past and present. I got the photograph in an email earlier, but I’ve been a little busy to post it. I really have to thank whoever got that put up, it’s legendary. They’ve got the right idea too, people generally don’t seem to get that there’s more than one of us: note the plural. I’ll be forwarding this to Little John later. If he’s talking to me – I was sort of responsible for getting a bucket of cold water thrown over us yesterday. Alright. Entirely responsible.

On another note, thanks for the shoulder help, Perspecillum, my shoulder’s feeling much better. Granted, still pretty sprained, wound up in the gym after all rather than being allowed to feel sorry for myself all day, but generally the mug of coffee and sitting still as long as possible paid off. I’ll be back out in costume again in no time, sorry NCPD. I can’t wait! Can’t stand sitting still, but at least I’ve been getting some charity work in too, here and on my about page. Those guys are doing some great work, Make Poverty History and World Hope. At the risk of sounding like a preacher, please do your part; with the right effort, we could eradicate the worst of poverty by 2015. All we need to raise, across the globe, is .5 billion pounds, that’s the price it cost to build EuroDisney. 20% of the world possesses 90% of the world’s wealth – sure you can’t spare a fiver?

That’s all for now. I’ve got to get stuff ready for work next week when the holidays end, much as I’d like to keep blogging. Which reminds me – Happy Easter. Some people might not think it, some might, but I do have a heart.

- listening to Guns N’ Roses, the Modern Robin Hood