Alright, alright, introduction, as promised. Since the police are, effectively, on my tail, there’s not much I can say apart from the obvious, though. I live and work in Nottingham, and have been here all my life so I know the city pretty damn well. I’m in my twenties, as red-headed as the photographs and sightings make out, and have been fascinated by Robin Hood and the Sherwood Diamond since secondary school. When I’m not out as Robin Hood or at work, my hobbies include blogging, Indiana Jones, history, DC comics, rock music and running. I’m in a relationship, complicated though it may be, and plan to be the one to discover the resting place of Robin Hood’s infamous diamond!
For those of you who don’t know my story, I’ve long since had a fascination for Robin Hood; started when I was a kid, with my best friend and I going treasure-hunting in the forest, when we heard the story in school, the story about the diamond. Bloody amazing was the first thing I thought. And then ouch, because later that day I wound up cutting myself open on my coccyx when Little John – that’s what I’m going to call my best friend, from here – decided to find out if holding toast when you jumped out of a tree changed how gravity worked. Not his smartest plan… But I reckon I got my own back for that one, if quite a bit later. Anyway, more about that another day. Over the years, a love of not just the diamond but everything Robin Hood and his men stood for, somewhat amazingly given my character as a child, formed. Generally, one fascination grew to another, and through the Indiana Jones days and the Monsters Incorporated Scooby Doo van days, what was then called The Merry Men was formed, with the help of a mutual friend of ours. A little mock-up at first, granted, there wasn’t much could be done besides unorthodox lock-picking and whatever else it was the police marked us down for.
Of course, what happened next was the schism. One argument led to another, Little John and I didn’t exactly seem to share the same views on the gig anymore, I don’t know what happened really but what happened did happen, and we split up our small team; most of the Merry Men went with him as out notoriety grew, and I went solo. Yeah, there you have it boys in blue, you’re after two teams – might make your job a little more difficult huh? There’s a team rivalry built up, and this bastard secret organisation called The Paladins hungry for out throats – ever read a MARVEL comic? Funny how similar The Paladins are to the bad guys. Damnit, it’s still a miracle how we’ve avoided getting caught all this time but what can I say, we’re careful. Or, rather, Little John just thinks I’m high strung enough to for once in my life know when to quit when the going’s ahead. Whatever: we kept going. Want to know more? Read the papers. We make them often enough.
Robin Hood? We all know the man; y’know, the guy from Sherwood forest who robbed from the rich and gave to the poor, hoodwinking even Prince John’s tyranny to bring justice to the land. But the thing is, he died something like five hundred years ago, which frankly sucks. It’s the year 2009, and things are hardly as bad as they were but they’re not much better. The people of the United KinGdom are thousands of pounds in poverty, and for some unknown reason a vast majority of the homeless are concentrated in Nottingham City, England. Will you stand for this injustice? I, for one, will not. Robin Hood is not dead.
JUSTICE is not dead. Not while I’m around.
- from the Modern Robin Hood, with love
